Monday, October 27, 2008

Do Not Respond to Emails While Under the Influence


I'm sure you all totally agree with that title and would never in a million years do something like that, right? Especially to a COMPLETE and TOTAL STRANGER, right?
Yeah, me neither.
But, for argument's sake, say you got one of those nasty migraines that lasts all night Thursday night. Then, as you are still suffering the effects, ANOTHER migraine starts creeping in. What do you do? If you're me, you grab the phone while you still can and dial Dr, Grise who rushes you (or is it me...?) in and gives me (us?) a big ol' shot of Demerol.
Within a half an hour I am floating, and pointing out to Rod, that it didn't even hurt when I fell down on in front of the house and look how SOFT the pillow is and HOW HAPPY I AM THAT THE MIGRAINE IS GONE and I SURE LOVE THAT DR.GRISE,DON'T YOU? I may have yelled all of that. A happy yell.
Rod had to keep sending me back to bed because I wanted to stay awake and enjoy the effects of this magical drug.
I'm sorry if I offend, I'm just saying. No Pain. Magical. Happy.
After I had slept for about 234 hours, I woke up and decided I'd read email.
A happy surprise awaited me in the form of an email from a gal who lives in a distant state whose husband studies long distance with our own Western Seminary. Well, apparently, this delightful gal and her husband are praying and seeking God's wisdom on the possibility of them perhaps putting down roots here in our beautiful state.
Well, Wahoo!

When I began to type back I figured out I couldn't string words together real good, and my spelling was bad. Worse than normal.
So I decided I should just send her a quick note to tell her that I would really respond to her later...when I could make sense. Because I'm all about making sense.

Then I thought I should get my sister-in-law Brenda involved because I always ask her for help when my brain won't work. Which is pretty much M-F. (She needs weekends off, apparently)
So, here is the actual note I sent to this poor pastor's wife who just had a few questions about Oregon:

Oh, boy I really want to respond because email made you sound exactly like the sort of person I personally would want to live here in Oregon with me. Then I thought, oh no, I am still way under the effects of a huge ol' shot of Demerol of Doc Grise gave me yesterday, I shouldn't be reading emails, let alone responding...I'll send it to my sis in law. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I sent it, then remembered she is on lots of vicidin from getting rear ended while she was in her mini-cooper Friday night, she will be no help.
If you read this, you would never want to move here at all. You would pick someplace like Iceland maybe. I should probably just stop typing and go back to bed because I have to keep typing words over and over again. Lots of misspellings.
You know, I will just respond when I can think clearly, so just disregard and delete this whole email for now.
thank you,
Di


Wow. Don't you think they are going to pack right up to move here? Yeah, me too.
They should make me an ambassador somewhere.

Well, I'm gonna go get some tequila now so I can catch up on some blogs. Apparently, that is how I roll.

13 comments:

Kim said...

Didi...you always put a smile on my face. ;) You're cute! :) {{{HUGS}}} on the migraines...I'm really praying they're gone. ugh! Thankful I've never had any more than a really horrible headache.

And on the email sent....I'm certain she was laughing. ;) Not AT you, of course, but WITH you. ;)

Blessings!
Kim

larkswing said...

ok, you are a trip - even more so when you ARE tripping! hehe

Dena said...

Oh I feel for you with migraines. I get them myself, but so far have only had to get a shot one time, but you're right...they are gooooooood.

And as far as the email, I'd totally move to Oregon after reading that. I'd even try to find a house right next to yours. It'd be a trip. :)

Chel said...

First of all I am so sorry that you are in the ranks of pain with others like me. I have had migraines since age 7, at least that is as far back as I remember.

Now, I typed emails like that at times but so far they have been to people who really know me and can read around, above, under,and in between the lines.

finally, You Really Crack Me Up!!! I love it!!!
OOO, I thought of you while I wrote something the other day sort of really because I don't know all about you at all but you did at least cross my mind when I wrote about freedom. it is the post titled, Who are you that God would use you? - I was actually asked this twice by a friend, anyway, read if you want but I found some freedoms. :-)
Chel

Linda said...

oh..my goodness..you're a hoot!!!!!
got quite a chuckle..:) I'm sure she chuckled too & understood...hope your migraines are better...

Gretchen said...

So sorry for your migraine, but glad for your drug high. Prescribed, of course.

I am not a fan of the migraine. Not at all.

Prayers for no headaches this week for you. And that...well, your friend will still consider moving out to OR. ;)

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Um, I'm not the nice Linda above. I was just going to say you seem to be in your regular groove to me. :) just kidding. I can just hear you calling out to Rod ....

Robin Lambright said...

I feel your pain. I suffer from migrains from time to time as well. I think we should all have an emergency stash of vicidin/demoral for just such an occasion.
You're to funny, thanks for the giggle.
Blessings
Robin

E said...

I wish I had your humor...you crack me up!

Amy Plumb said...

You are too funny.

Angela said...

You and your drugs! Ha ha please write to me next time you're all hopped up. Please. Your comment today on my post touched me so much. I did just sign another year lease, so looks like I'll be here for awhile longer. While I don't feel that Richmond is the last stop for me, I am not feeling called out just yet, though it may be soon. I love new places, but the thought of being all the way across the country from my parents makes me sad. So maybe I'm just not meant to be a left-coaster. I love how weird you are. I read your comment after I got done thanking God for the friends I've made through blogging, and it just was awesome. You are the best, sober or not! Love you, friend!
Angela

javamamma said...

I tend to like people who function, not in their right minds. You're awesome. I wouldn't be surprised if that lovely couple moved right up to your state. ;)

Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

Just getting back from a computer-free week of vacation (I'll never do THAT again) and getting caught up on my blogs.

I can't decide.

I simply can't decide.

I can't decide if I'm laffing WITH you or AT you. Maybe it is both. With you because been there, done that, got the T-shirt and at you because your attempt at c-w-u-t-i (hereafter know as "communicating while under the influence")is in writing! Once I had such a bad migraine it made my right eye close and the right corner of my mouth turn down. The people in my office thought I was having a stroke, so they walked me down the hall to the ER. I got a shot-o-magic myself, and when the doc came back in to discharge me, I said to him, "If you aren't already married, I'll marry you, and even if you are married, I'll marry you, and I am sure Studly Man won't mind if I marry you, and oh, are you married?"

He rolled his eyes, handed my co-worker my prescription and told me to get lost. I complied. And strangely, I never went back to that ER again.

Hope you're feeling MUCH better by now.