Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blog-worthy

I'm going to be losing readers today. I apologize for the following post. After this I should have .5 reader. That should be interesting.

Some things are blog worthy. Like Cap'n Crunch. American Idol. My new bff the Panosonic SD-YD250 Bread Machine. On a scale of 1- thrilled, it makes me sing happy songs of joy. It produces carbs of deliciousness which I slather in butter.

Because butter is still my hobby.




Some things happen which do not make me sing for joy and just are not blog worthy.






Like, say January-February 2009.





I blogged once in a while but not much and my heart wasn't in it. There have been some things weighing on me and it wasn't appropriate to share here (gasp!)


(But thank you Cindy for listening to me blather all the way from Indiana. I owe you a casserole. Or something chocolate. Maybe I'll just be nice to you for a while. We'll see how it plays out.)






But God is working all things out according to His good purpose and that leaves me free to blog about the dogs, ice cream, weight loss(or gain. Don't be a hater.) and little maggotty things.





That's right. Little . Maggotty. Things.





See how I love you and have given you every opportunity to flee or at least put down your pizza?


I am a giver.




So, our story begins a couple months ago. The time line is blurry because, frankly I think I'm suffering from PTSD associated with said bugs.





I had noticed a few tiny little moths fluttering around the kitchen when I would open the cereal cupboard, but I paid them no mind. (THAT,right there, could be my main problem.)





A couple days later there were a few more, and though they were tiny little things, they were not cute and they were becoming annoying.




(Right now you could leave. You could click here and go read how BigMama got to have dinner with Beth Moore! Yes , I'm serious!)




So I began bringing things out of the cupboard and setting them on the island. Because although it sounds like I must live in a barn or a pigpen somewhere, I do have an island in my kitchen. I figured the moths were a good indication that I should probably do some kitchen cupboard cleaning with the Lysol and some hot water.






Well, this next part gets a little hairy. I reached all the way in the back of the cupboard, where I never reach, where things that we don't eat just get shoved carefully stored, and I found this giant container of peanuts from Costco. Well, they used to be peanuts.
Innocent, innocent peanuts.














(CLICK HERE and go read about Linda's 5x30 movement! Seriously, she is always entertaining and witty and charming and hardly ever gross.



Please, save yourselves. I'll be fine. I've learned to deal. But you've still got a life to live.)


If you are still here, make an appointment to see your psychotherapist in the morning.

Or your exterminator.

Or just pick up your monitor and throw it on the floor. All the bad pictures will go away. Except for these next close up ones. They will be burned onto your retinas so that you will see them every time you close your eyes.

Welcome to my world:



See the little moths up near the top? So that is where they were coming from. NOW I feel better. I just want to pull my eyeballs out and kill myself. And now that I've shared all this nobody is ever going to come over again unless they are wearing a moth-proof HAZMAT suit.

Never mind. Nobody is going to come over. I wouldn't come over if I didn't live here. I'll understand when you studiously avoid my eyes at church or the store and hurry on by. Pretty soon, as people are driving by our house, they'll say, "Oh, that's where Maggot Girl lives, isn't it?" Poor, lonely Maggot Girl.

Anyway, I'm sure I don't need to tell you but, every item, food related or not was disposed of immediately and I torched the entire house bleached down everything.

Honestly, the whole thought to this leaves me feeling really itchy and twitchy like I want to tear off all my clothes and keep scrubbing at myself so the maggots will just go away. But the nekked look has not been a good one for me since July 1964.


I'm not even sure what brought all this to mind today. Maybe it was the threat of the Scary Internet Worm on the news.


Or that I saw a couple moths flitting about the kitchen this morning.

Oh, Cindy...let me know where to send your casserole. :-)

21 comments:

larkswing said...

LOL - oh that post is funny and gross all wrapped up in one package, like that peanut container! Guess I gotta call and set up an appointment for the psychologist now!

Brenda on the S OR Coast said...

Are you kidding me?? I bet you have the cleanest kitchen in North America now!

You did bleach the island, right?...

Queen B said...

That may very well be the single most nasty thing I've ever seen. My retinas are permanently scorched.

I am going to take a shower.

And begin a fast.

A Christian Mom said...

Oh, I so feel your pain!

Read these posts, on my blog:

http://atrailerparkmom.com/?p=278

http://atrailerparkmom.com/?p=297

Back in October, I had the same thing happen... still don't know how they came about, though, because there was no old food.

Last week, we had to replace our fridge, and in all honesty, I was afraid to move it, because I was afraid of what I'd find, lol. But I'm happy to announce that we haven't seen any more.

We used Terro ant spray, because it has a chemical in it that kills the little nasties. Before spraying, though, I washed everything with bleach, very hot water & soap, lol.

Rebekah said...

My jaw dropped at the first picture. Then the close up sparked the scientist in me....Im sure if I was still home schooling I would have immediately called my children to a science lesson. You right I will never see you in the same light...But I never have since the day I met you supervising first graders on the play ground. Yes you can make me laugh and laugh at even the most discusting situation. Next time I am facing a truely horrifying circumsance I am going to call you, because now I am completely assured you can make me laugh in the face of desperation. Good luck I hope you have eradicated your little wiggly friends. Yes I am also going to wash my hair etc... and clean my kitchen thanks for the inspiration...

Robin Lambright said...

Having just made my appointment with the psycho therapist I am now ready to share.

Oh my stars, That was too funny, too horrible, too traumatizing, too something....

I had a slightly similar experience involving flies, I felt like I was in one of those sci-fi Saturday night movies "Fly Zone" it was disgusting and nasty, spent all afternoon(one day several months ago, early last spring) killing flies. I finally got so tired of whacking them with a rolled up newspaper that I switched to spray, and was literally sweeping them in in a dust pan by the dozen and dozens hundreds even, I have no idea where they came from and it has never happened again, and praise Jesus hopeful it will never happen again.

Thanks for being real!

No more peanuts for you girl!

Blessings
Robin

Gretchen said...

Eeeeeeeeewwwww!

But funny how you did your linky love to others.

Gretchen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

Have no fear, Diane. I will ALWAYS come back! My dad (an icky boy) always shared "science lessons" with us growing up. And then I married Studly (another icky boy) who promptly took over the science lessons. I've seen creatures before... yes, even in places where food is stored.

The other reason this post couldn't drive me away is because I have a soft spot in my heart for those nicknamed "Maggot Girl." Ya see, my sister's name is Megan. We pronounce it "Mee'-gan." Not all that uncommon today, but let me tell you... for a girl born in 1959, that was one. unusual. name.

When she was in seventh grade, some mean boy (I won't name him, but his initials are Jay Hurst) started calling her "maggot." It stuck, and he and his mean friends called her that all school year long. SOOOoooo many tears!

So ya see? I have no choice but to lovingly support all Maggot Girls!

(Thanks for the chuckle.)

His Girl said...

wow.

so impressed that you could think clearly enough to pull out your camera.

haha.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I was, gulp, doing fine, until thatlastpicture GAH! It's like a science fiction/horror movie trailer! Oh dear. I just. I just. I'm almost speechless. Did you want to make a button for this picture?

Robin Lambright said...

Dear Maggot Girl,
Hindsight is always 20/20, I wish I had the composure to actually capture the piles of dead flies that I swept up with my camera. Sadly I was too traumatized by my experience to think clearly to document my fly daymare for the blogosphere. Just thinking about all those flies gives me the creeps! Yuck!!!!!

All my love,
Robin A.K.A Fly Girl

Linda said...

funny & gross at the same time. poor you to have to deal with that mess. this wont stop me from visiting you. :)

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I was truly, really, totally going to tell you to skip the being nice part and send me some FOOD.

Then I finished reading the post.

Nice is good.

Dena said...

The pictures are like a train wreck - you don't want to look, but you just can't help yourself. LOL Too funny. We usually see little visitors like that out in the barn, which is why I haven't been in our barn in over 5 years, give or take.

javamamma said...

OH. DEAR. JESUS. You are much braver than I take a picture and wade through the wormies. I would have conned my husband (through any sort of bribery necessary) to take care of the issue. Glad you got to the bottom of your flying guests. Ugh.

Beverlydru said...

I wish I didn't have a clue what you were talking about. I too have been fighting these little moths in Florida. Apparently, they come into the house in some sort of grain. I think they got in my house through bird seed which was in the pantry. Then they got in the dog biscuits. They like any grain... rice, oatmeal, etc. I keep most of my grains in the fridge now and I seem to ge getting rid of them. Be vigilant on all your grains.

Zaankali said...

Ewww!!! I totally get the wanted to scrub your skin after dealing with that. I want to after reading it!!! LOL!
Smiles!

Growin' With It said...

well, i dunno...after this post, i'm thinking whatever else is on your heart will be nothing compared to this, right? poor thing...in many ways. i won't go near the maggott part, but life in general, it stinks sometimes and needs a bit of cleaning out. hang in there!

Patrice and Higgins said...

I am holding my gut, laughing and hurting at the same time!! You need a warning "if you recently had surgery, this blog could hurt when you laugh!" HA ha!

The Wolf Pack said...

Dinner at your house? Maybe next year!!!! We still love you guys and think that you are the best cook.
That's pretty gross though.
p.s. My goodness, how many friends do you have???