Apparently being kind is expected behavior unless you are Kathy Bates in "Misery" or Nurse Ratchet in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
Which I may be.
Anyway, right now Rod has a few kidney stones that really need to pass. This was confirmed by his doctor, a ct scan and, most importantly, by his wife.
I was able to diagnose him accurately after listening to his symptoms and hearing his declarative statement that he was sure it was a pulled muscle in his back.
To be honest, I did do some valuable research. I watched Jeff Foxworthy do a spiel on Youtube and read what a friend posted about her husband on FaceBook when he had kidney stones.
Also, not to brag, but I have watched most seasons of Grey's Anatomy. So, basically I am as close to being a medical professional as you can get without having actually attended medical school or having any experience whatsoever.
I am that good.
(FYI I am accepting new patients on a first come, first serve basis, and will make phone or Facetime consultations as needed. Call me.)
Rod is not in that stage of severe, excruciating pain that people talk about afterwards with wide frightened eyes and the trembly voice of someone who has been through a war or had a near-death experience. (yet.)
Who knows, this may just pass (wink) with nothing more than the sore kidneys he has now. Hoping and praying for that.
But it is irritating waiting, right? We keep reading online,( thank you, Dr. Google) and listening to friend's advice about drinking gallons of lemon water and chugging apple cider vinegar. Rod especially loves that. Mmmm-mmm.
The bottom line (chuckle) is that we cannot control when these tiny little jagged ninja death stars come out. We can just keep on trying whatever we can to help the process along.
I think that is one of the things that bothers us the most in life; lack of control.
Like these dratted kidney stones.
Or like when you move to the shorter grocery line, and the longer one you were in previously finishes first.
Or when you put your socks in the dryer and you are missing one when they come out. (I firmly believe in a parallel universe where they get all our extra socks that we are missing. It makes sense, right?)
Or, um HELLOOOO...the election. Totally out of control.
Or when the kid you raised as best you can gets a divorce and suffers the consequences along with his children.
You do the best you can, try everything you can think of, but you still get kidney stones, pick the slowest line, lost the socks, watch your kids suffer. And our presidential candidates are still Trump and Clinton. (I literally woke up in tears about the election this morning. True story.)
These things are what we are going through right now, and you may be enduring much worse. I'm so sorry if you are.
So many times I wake up in the morning or go to bed at night completely overwhelmed with feelings of pain as I think of my grandbabies crying for their dad, or asking for their mom, and wondering how Christmas morning will look now, and how this will affect their entire lives and what are we going to do?? and how can I make this better?? and I just need to fix this NOW! How can I fix this?
And as I spiral out of control I run straight into the wall of "I have no control."
And then I turn, and careen straight into the arms of the only One who does have control, and who loves and cherishes us beyond description.
I have a soft place to fall.
An ear that hears my cries. (he hears me!)
Eyes that look on me with compassion for my pain. (He sees me!)
A voice that answers me with wisdom. (His word!)
Arms that comfort me and bring me peace when NO.THING. else can.
He keeps track of our sorrows and a stores up our tears in a bottle. Psalm 56:8.
And our names are engraved on his hands. Isaiah 49:16
He has a plan. He has a purpose and we are the apples of his eye and the treasures of his heart He has a love for us that fills up all the galaxies in the universe and he will not let us fall.
When I ponder on these truths and remember whose I am, I can breathe a sigh of relief.
No, I am not in control.
Probably even less than I think.
But the God who sees me and hears me is.
And he loves me.