Breathe in. Breathe out. Pray.

That is how I figure I'll be getting through the next few months as Josiah left for Afghanistan today. I know his life is, and always has been in God's hands. (Can you hear the "but" coming?)
But the thing is, I don't know what God has planned. And that is particularly hard, I think, when your son is going into combat zones where people seriously want to harm him.
That is the hardest thing to wrap my mind around. Maybe I'm naive or just stupid, but I can't think of why someone would want to hurt my boy.
The picture at the top is how Josiah would like us, his parents, to think of him. The pictures below are how I actually see him, so sending him into war, into harm's way literally hurts my heart. I remember kissing his baby feet and bouncing him after his bath while we dried him off. I remember how his Dad made him laugh first. Priceless, really. I remember how he always tried so hard to take car of his baby sister, usually to the point of almost hurting her.

Moms remember all those chubby baby moments and superimpose them on their their soldier sons.
Even though I know intellectually he is grown up, trained and ready to go, I still see my precious boy, and man, does that hurt.


Lord God I pray for you to protect Josiah and bring him home to us. I know you see him with perfect vision, both the man and the boy.Help me to see things from your perspective, because sometimes I get too wrapped up in mine.
But remember how adorable he was when he would hide his eyes and think we couldn't see him? And remember when he fed Amy that lemon pie on Easter morning, before Rod and I got up?
I know you remember those times, and I'm so thankful that you love Siah even more than us.Let him see his need for you every day,and be ready with an answer for the guys around him. Please, Lord, keep him safe.

He was always skilled and multi talented, as you can see.You can probably tell, just from these pictures, that he would grow up to put out fires and save peoples' lives. I know we could.

Also, cute as a bug's ear, wasn't he?

A need for speed

I never thought I had a need for it, but recently I have discovered a joy in riding on a fast moving ATV. Who knew?
The wind whipping in my hair, the bugs in my throat, the gritty dirt in my eyes and the exhilarating speed. Ah yes, the speed.
Yesterday, I confronted my fear demons and gradually pressed on the gas until the world was flowing by like I was in the center of a fast moving tropical storm. When my tearing eyes were able to make out the speedometer I saw I had indeed broken my previous speed records. I was flying along the sun dappled forest trail, with no thought to my own safety, at 22 mph.
Woo hoo!!
Has life ever been any better?
That would be a "No".
This is F-U-N.
My friend, Nanci, says we have "Quadwife Syndrome", which apparently means our husbands will suffer when we no longer cook or clean for them.
But they did promise to love us, in SICKNESS or in health and I'm guessing Nanci, that a syndrome qualifies as a sickness. Besides, aren't they out there with us on the quads? They'll never notice that the bed is not made or that they're having cereal for dinner....again.
Besides, I think that the only known cure for Quadwife syndrome is more....speed. :-)
(up above you can see me along with fellow Quadwife sufferers, Brenda,(with her daughter) and Pat. We are starting a support group soon. Below you can clearly see the after effects of quading on a dry dusty day. Joy and dirt)

I know it's not all about dogs

But somedays all you need is a hug from a puppy to heal what ails you. I hadn't realized that I'd been so depressed until one morning I woke up and felt almost euphoric as I went about my daily chores like cleaning toilets. What? That makes no sense.
But then I figured out that I felt "normal" for the first time in a long time, and normal now felt euphoric.
Wow, had I been that down? Maybe the crying on a daily basis should have been a clue.
Josiah getting combat training preparing for Afghanistan is partially responsible as is having to sell all our horses, and changing our lifestyle.
I prayed to have God's perspective in this time, and focus on His will, not my own. Such a hard thing,when I always tend to set myself up as the center of my own universe.
So, puppy days with my friend are nice. A breather. Time not to ponder the bigger issues of life here on our little planet, but smell the sweet puppy breath.
Here is my friend Nanci, with her new best friend.


What could possibly be more adorable that Macie (Hollie and Luke's darling daughter) with a puppy, right before she tries to shove it through the fence or put it in the swimming pool. No, she didn't really do that while we were watching, but apparently she does try to injure or kill them on a daily basis, in a misguided attempt at nurturing. Wonder whose example she might be following, hmmm? Luke? Hollie? Thank goodness for the watchful eye of her mother.

I should be making cream puffs

I've got a potluck to go to tonight and I should be finishing up the creampuffs I started. (Don't you love potlucks? "What will I make?....how will I transport it?....how will I keep it cold/hot?....what if Brenda makes the same thing?....what id hers tastes better than mine?.....what if nobody eats mine?.....gasp! What if they eat mine and they get sick...again?" Yes I'm a worrier with a bit of a self doubter thrown in)
Back to what I should be doing....
I started the creampuffs,(just the custard) then got online to take a coffee break. I tried out FaceBook and found the entire Brose clan! What fun! So I signed up and began chatting with them.
The Broses, at least most of them, live in Burundi, Africa and work with World Relief. They have been there for six loooong (for us) years and it has become home for them, I have no doubt.
Now they are coming home, with some mixed emotions I'm sure.
I can't tell you how happy I am .
I have known Tam since high school when she was a cheer leader and I wanted to be her.
(The picture above is from when Tam was visiting last spring and we had puppies. One attached itself to her chin with such strong suction that she left here with a hickey on her chin!)
Little did I know that I would marry her older brother a couple years later and we would become not only sister-in-laws but great friends.
Tam has been a friend that I turn to when I need wisdom and counsel.(I really want to say I look up to her, but that would just be cruel as I don't thinks she is quite 5 feet tall.)
I can't tell you how many times we have cried together, prayed together and laughed together. Usually all at the same time too. :-)
(We were on the phone once and so many minutes went by and all we were doing was non-stop laughing...that was the infamous 212.00 phone call...before Skype)
I regret that I never got the chance to see Tam in her element in Africa, but I have heard enough from others to know that she is unmatched in her ability to make people feel welcome and comfortable, and that she will go to any length to please her Savior.
Sometimes a long time will go by before we can talk, but she is never out of my thoughts or out of my prayers.
I am so proud of you, Tam, for the life you live following Jesus so closely and just not wavering.
Many years have passed since HS, but one thing hasn't changed; I still wish I was Tam.
I am thrilled to the point of tears that the Broses are coming home. And yes, Tam, you can pass out the Christmas presents again.
BTW, when I was making the custard, I used the KitchenAid mixer you and Dan surprised me with one year.So you are never far from my thoughts. At least when I am in the kitchen.
I look forward to seeing you. Coffee in my kitchen on the 29th or so.

Changes to the Blog

This used to be a place for us to post pictures and stories about our Bullmastiff puppies, back when we were selling them. Lots of fun, but you can only blog about them for so long.
Other things in life are much more important than puppies. (I can hear people gasping for air as I type that)
My brother-in-law Dan was here over the weekend and shared a video with us that his friend and co-worker, Seth Chase made. Dan and Seth live in Burundi, Africa and work with World Relief.
Although we were getting ready for a family BBQ, playing Guitar Hero on X-Box and just plain enjoying each other's company, this video as stuck with me. Actually, everything that Trina, Seth's wife writes on her blog sticks with me,too. I'll put a link so you can visit and see what I mean.
I pray that we can be changed by what we see there, changed enough to do something.
(I'll upload the video when I get permission from Seth. No pressure or anything. :-)

McCurdy's Goldust Drifter

This little fellow came along more than a week late and when he finally arrived he kinda sorta got stuck at the shoulders. I was the only one home at the time,although Rod was hurrying back. I had Kim, or vet, on the phone with me to talk me through the process.

I had never seen a foal born before and I was attempting to take it in stride. But honestly, they are such large animals, and to see two hooves and a muzzle extruding from the mare was pretty outlandish. And I had read all Jim Herriot's books(All Creatures Great and Small, etc.).

The real thing is breathtaking...and I don't mean that in a good way necessarily.

One thing I'll never forget is Kim's calm voice on the phone telling me that I needed to pull the foal out now.

Is she kidding me??!!

Apparently not, as she instructed me on the correct pulling techniques and told me to put the phone down. I seriously considered putting the phone down and making grunting pulling noises like I was obeying her, but was actually in the far corner of the stall sipping French Roast.

But Kisses was struggling, we had waited for this baby for 11 months and so I grabbed those fetlocks and pulled each time Kisses pushed.

I was praying like crazy for Rod to show up because this baby wasn't budging. Finally Rod's head popped over the stall door and we were saved.

It took both of us pulling to get the little (read EXTRA LARGE) fella out, but it finally happened.

Sadly, his Momma, Kisses, decided she would attack him each time he tried to stand up and basically wouldn't accept him as her own. It was so extraordinarily sad to see him try to get to him only to be rejected or kicked.

After a weekend of bottle feeding and continually introducing the foal to his Mom, they finally bonded and now you would never know there was ever a problem. It was an amazing weekend, one I don't think I'd want to repeat. But extremely rewarding.

And Drifter is a doll. :-)

My heros have always been cowboys...

(This is an previous post from my deleted blog....just consolidating)

Well, not always. But this time it's true. Maybe you won't agree with me that he is a hero, because he is simply being obedient and doing what he is supposed to. Nothing spectacular. Just a short conversation,some direct eye contact, a little listening, a few well-placed words and he is on his way again.But to me he is a hero. So many times we have programs about prayers, and seminars about giving. We watch dvds about witnessing and hears sermons about the persecuted church.Not that those are BAD things!! Those are GOOD!!But my husband tries to grow and tries to change when he learns from God's word.(James 1:22-25 comes to mind)Today Rod was at a client's home and prayed(before he went inside) for a chance to share the Good News with them. After some small talk, Rod was able to ask if the man ever thought seriously about death, Heaven or hell.(Nothing like being subtle, Rod!) The man nodded his head, and soberly answered, "Yes, all the time."When Rod asked if he had concerns about if he would be going to Heaven or hell, the customer said yes, he was worried about it. So Rod led him naturally through some of the ten commandments, God's laws, which point out to each of us how unworthy we are to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It was obvious to Rod that the man's heart and conscience were open to hearing about Jesus.After a phone interruption, the customer came back and Rod was able to share how God sent His son to pay the penalty for our having broken His laws, and how by confessing and repenting, this man could go to sleep this night knowing for sure where he would spend eternity.They had some more conversation,then Rod finished up his work, packed up his truck and drove off.We will pray for this guy, as we did before Rod went in his house, and hope that the Holy Spirit will be doing a convicting work in his life as never before.But I am proud of Rod for not just hearing, but doing, for loving God's lost people enough to try to do something about it. I'm going to try to follow his example. I hope more people do.

Harder than it seems

(This is an older post from a deleted blog)

So Rod and I have gone through (2 x only) the Way of the Master dvd series that Randy A received from Kirk Cameron. It was thoroughly convicting and we plan on changing our tactics in talking with people about Christ.Listen to this sermon by Ray Comfort called "Hell's Best Kept Secret" if you want to know more:http://www.livingwaters.com/learn/hellsbestkeptsecret.htm





Before we might have tentatively offered Jesus almost as something new and different to try, something to improve and enhance your life. Now we see the need to be bold, let people measure themselves up to God's Law and see if they would be judged guilty or innocent on Judgement Day. Once they have concluded, as we all must(Romans 3:23) that they are guiltyand their eyes are open to the truth, THEN we can feel free to share the great Good News of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and how he paid their fine once and for all.





Yesterday, Rod went to work and shared(witnessed....) with two home owners whose houses he was working at. Yahoo Rod!!!!At the first house, with his heart pounding out of his chest, Rod asked how long they had lived in the area. The guy answered 12 years, I think. So Rod asked what church they went to. (LOL) The man hesitated and then said they hadn't gone to church for a long time, but used to attend a Presbetryian Church. So Rod told him all about our church, GSCC and invited him to come.When Rod called me and we talked about what was said, we realized that his talk with the guy was EXACTLY like what we USED to say! Nothing had changed!





But we were still encouraged as Rod headed to his next job.At his next house, Rod was able to openly share with the guy who then claimed to be saved already. I hope he is, and I will be praying for him this morning, but he is agianst church attendance and Rod wondered about other aspects of his lifestyle.I'm going to be actively praying for God to allow me to see people the way that he does; to love them, really, the way that he does.I want to share with them in such a way that my love for them and my fear of their potential final destination totally overwhems my fear of their rejection of me.

Martyrs

Yesterday being the National Day of Prayer , one of the things I prayed for that is close to my heart was the persecuted church.
When Rod and I struggle to open our mouths to share how Christ has rescued us, there are men and women who are imprisoned, tortured and even killed for sharing their faith.
I hang my head in shame when I see their sacrifice and my silence. But I will continue to pray for them, my couragous brothers and sisters. Don't let them be forgotten.
Here are some ways, besides praying, that we can help. This info was found at http://www.epm.org/.
Practical Ways to Help Our Persecuted Brothers and Sisters in ChristCompiled from Voice of the Martyrs magazine, Special Edition, 2006
We receive many letters from readers asking for ways to help those being persecuted for their faith. In addition to financial contributions, the following are other opportunities for individuals, families, or church groups to help those in need.
Blankets of Love
"Blankets of Love" is an opportunity to share a blanket with a Sudanese Christian who has suffered for the cause of Christ. Many Christian families in Sudan have lost all earthly possessions as they flee from Islamic persecution.
Nights in Sudan can be cold, and many children have to sleep on the bare ground. The simple gift of a blanket can be a great encouragement to your Sudanese brothers and sisters who are persecuted for their faith.
To sponsor a blanket for Sudan:
1. Select a good quality used blanket(s) from your home. (You may purchase new blankets if you desire.) Types of blankets: Cotton or synthetic, full or queen. Please no quilts, afghans, comforters, army, or electric blankets.
2. Add $2.00 per blanket for handling and shipping to Sudan.
3. Send blankets now or anytime this year to:"Blankets of Love," The Voice of the Martyrs, 510 SW Adeline, Bartlesville, OK 74003
Bibles Unbound
Today around the world, persecuted Christians are quietly gathering names and addresses. These addresses are from their local communities, businesses, factories, universities and even government offices. Names and addresses are being gathered by believers from China to Columbia and from Cuba to the Middle East and submitted to The Voice of the Martyrs.
You can mail New Testaments from your own home directly to communities where your persecuted brothers and sisters are now courageously witnessing. Sign up at www.BiblesUnbound.com to participate in one or more "ministry operations." (You may target your own "ministry operation," or VOM can choose one for you.) For $30.00 per month, you will receive five or more New Testaments each month in the appropriate language, along with corresponding address labels, a description of the operation(s), packaging instructions, and the postage to mail your Bibles.
You can follow your Bibles online and see when they arrive. You can also see a record of all the individuals you have mailed a New Testament to, along with updates and testimonies as they are available. An online map displays the nations where you have sent Bibles and partnered with today's persecuted church.
Visit www.BiblesUnbound.com for updated information.
Prisoner Alert
Read about your brothers and sisters currently imprisoned for their faith at VOM's www.PrisonerAlert.com. This site enables you to write an encouraging letter and have it immediately translated in the prisoner's native language. You may also subscribe to the Web site's email alerts, and every month you will be notified of a new prisoner to write.
Action Packs
The Action Pack program is set up to help families in the U. S. bless persecuted Christian families and Afghan refugees in Pakistan and Iraq. The Action Pack program consists of a specially preprinted vacuum bag with a zip-lock closure that allows air to be pushed out by simply rolling the vacuum bag. It will contain a complete list of items to put in the bag such as sweaters, T-shirts, towels, hats and other necessities to help families who have lost everything, along with five additional brochures for you to share with your church or family and friends. You can also include a photo of your family or group and an encouraging note. With each Action Pack, VOM will distribute the color Gospel storybook, He Lived Among Us, printed in their native language. Action Packs are available from VOM for a contribution of $5.00 each (one vacuum bag per Action Pack) to cover shipping the packs to you and then the finished packages to Pakistan and Afghanistan.
For more information on these and other projects to help our persecuted brothers and sisters, contact: Voice of the Martyrs, P.O. Box 443, Bartlesville, OK 74005, 918-337-8015 or 1-800-747-0085. Email: thevoice@vom-usa.org, Website: www.persecution.com