Wednesday, May 30, 2012

World Class Whining

Who doesn't want to read a post chock-full (what does that even mean??) of good old fashioned, self-focused, pity-party whining.
Well then, if you are out there, this post is for you.
I'll just dive right in.
 My hair is way over-due for a cut -n- color job. I may as well be wearing a sign that encourages birds and small rodents to "Get Your Nesting Materials Here!"
 The way I am dressing gives hillbillies a bad name. Not kidding.
 I am dressing like I just don't care because my belly is literally (yes, I said " literally") the size of a small country with a cruel dictator.
Camouflaging this country is not so much fun.
Rod went on a "diet" four days ago because he was feeling slightly concerned about the size of his belly. It wasn't huge, just bigger than what he was comfortable with. He looks great to me. But maybe I just can't see him over the gelatinous mountain that is my pannus, A.K.A. "muffin top."

Here is Rod using Cooper to hide his nonexistent belly.
So this morning, after I came home from my jog, Rod bounds out of the bathroom announcing that he has lost 5-6 pounds.
 In four days.
I hate him.He's a dear, isn't he?

I started Weight Watcher's (just for kicks and giggles) a few weeks ago and after my first full week, I gained 2 pounds.

Winning!

Do I sound a little down? Perhaps a bit self absorbed?

Maybe. Maybe.

But I know it's not all about me. Even though lately I've felt large enough that it could be all about me...

Yesterday, I had a splendid day catching up with a friend in between some interviews we were doing at a local women's shelter. (Can I just say, I love you Mindy) When we were leaving together, along with the chaplain of the women's shelter and a director, I heard myself volunteer, out loud, to give my testimony at their worship service. Friday. As in, day after tomorrow.

I threw myself right on under that there bus. (That's my hillbilly talk coming out)

They didn't waste a moment and took me up on it, letting me know the time frame and other logistics. I believe they stated I would be speaking from 9:10-9:50.
Friends, am I correct in thinking that is 40 freaking minutes?? My story might take 15-20.
Holy moley I am in a heap of trouble.
 As I floundered,wondering how I'm going to fill up 40 minutes  without being a complete waste of their time, Mindy kept making annoying "streeeetttccchhh it out" hand motions.
 She's a love.

Oh, well. At least I'll look good.

never mind.

 
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