Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A hypothetical, slightly inappropriate situation

***You were warned once. I'm not gonna do it again. Proceed at your own risk.***

I was pondering things this morning as I jogged. About how I didn't feel like running. At all. About how excited I am that the new Glory Revealed CD is going to drop any minute now. About how happy I am that no goats are with me. About how that last insect I inhaled almost choked me to death.

Also about this following, completely hypothetical situation.

Picture this.

Say a wife is making dinner and folding laundry at the same time. Multi-tasking like a hurricane. She is on a mission to get things done. It is a Monday and things will get accomplished.

Suddenly, she realizes she has to go to the bathroom, but because she was like a woman on fire getting chores done, she may have waited a moment or two longer than she should have.

She rushes into the bathroom.

IF her husband had left the seat in the DOWN position, like he usually does, everything would be hunky-dory. Left with the seat in the upright position the humble toilet becomes a veritable Porcelain Death Trap for women, with it's gaping jaws and rushing waters.

So, for the sake of our story, let's just say that the husband left the seat up. Then the poor, unsuspecting wife would probably almost fall into the toilet and wheel her arms around like a big, clumsy ostrich trying to take flight. She may or may not have screamed.


She probably even pulled every muscle in her back, shoulder and neck.

But her injury would obviously be more than physical. It would be mental, too, because hell0-ooo.

She almost drowned in a toilet.

She would probably be justifiably miffed. I assume that she would not have the best attitude as she slapped said husband's Honey Mustard Roast Pork, steamed green beans and Garlic Parmesan red potatoes on a plate at dinner time.

You can't blame this pretend woman for getting upset. She most likely wouldn't even feel like running the next day.

Because of the pain, you know.

But she is a determined sort, (anger is an excellent motivator) and would probably go on her run anyway .

She would probably try to distract herself from the discomfort in her back by thinking about the new Glory Revealed CD that is going to drop any minute....
Post a Comment