Saturday, November 14, 2009

On The Hunt

Rod and I are not speaking to each other. Probably because he has already left for his day long Horse Packing and Camping seminar and doesn't have his cell phone. Can you even believe I didn't go?
Me, neither.

Nope, I'm just gonna hang around here, clean stalls, feed horses, make cupcakes for church tonight and shop because Nordstrom's Half Yearly Sale is still in progress.

We really are different from each other, I ponder, as I slather on my Crabtree and Evelyn "La Source" relaxing body lotion, which I first tried when Amy and I stayed on the 17th floor at the Hilton downtown last August.

When I first told Rod we wanted to stay downtown, he squinted his eyes and turned his head sideways like I was speaking in tongues to him. And there was no one around to interpret.

"Really? Downtown?" He pushed Ruby the goat away from the grain bucket.Again

"Why don't you just stay somewhere around here?"

I shook my head sadly, but affectionately at his naivete. I gestured at the Douglass fir covered mountain behind me, and the bubbling waterfall on the other side of the serene pond.

As if!! Amy and I craved concrete and car fumes, not the scent of warm horses and sunshine. We wanted air-conditioning,big city and bright lights. And concierge service.

So we went and had a marvelous time which we have vowed to make a yearly party for two.

So today, when Rod happily headed out in the Dodge to learn how to pack his wall tent onto Polly and Drifter (really?) it does make me think about our differences. But I need to consider our similarities, not focus on our differences so much.

For instance, we both like to hunt.
Rod heads out in chilly November, usually with his brothers, nephews and Dad to set up camp outside up in the mountains. (You have no idea how hard it was for me to not type that last sentence in ALL CAPS. But as you can see, I resisted.)

They prepare for months in advance, determine exactly where they will go and how they will stalk their prey.They use maps,GPS's and other gear that I have never heard of, but I know that they sell at Cabela's.
They bring along all manner of weaponry, both to protect themselves and to bring the big game down. (It is so stinking hard not to laugh!)

They drink tepid Gounde coffee (use your imagination), gnaw on jerky and sleep on the grounde,too, unless they brought a cot. Sounds comfy-cozy. And they don't shower until they come home. Whew, doggie!

I head out in chilly November, too. I jump into my Trailblazer, turn on my seat-heater, listen to some Jesus Culture as I plan my hunt. It is Nordstrom's Half Yearly Sale, after all, so it is serious business. I WILL come home with my prey.

I stop at the Bux to fortify myself with a nonfat Chai. I need to stay in top fighting form. You never know what kind of deranged, credit- card flailing, french-manicured, Euro-shopper I'll encounter on the treacherous escalator ride between Shoes and Savvy.
I need to be alert and focused.It is quiet here in the pre-dawn deep in the racks between the Winter Sweaters and the upcoming Spring Collection. I breathe in deeply and smell the warmth of the cashmere, the smooth luxury of leather and I believe a hint of floral and citrus wafting up from down in the make-up department. I take a deep, energizing breath and straighten my purse straps. I am ready to hunt.

But wait! What's that over there? Why, hello, Clinique special bonus!

You need to be ready to pounce when you see something shiny and sparkly prey slightly different than what you were going after originally. BE PREPARED. BE WATCHFUL.

When both Rod and I do come home, we both are triumphant. Our hunts were both successful. Rod with a bear his brother and nephew both shot and they all tracked for two days and then packed out. (Seriously?)

I arrived home, exhausted but happy with a pair (that's TWO. Count 'em) of Steve Madden French Engineer boots in Nutmeg, which fashion permitting, should see me through at least 4-5 more hunting seasons. 33% off! SCORE!!

So, although we both do very different kinds of hunting we can still come together and compare our seasons at the end of the day. Or the beginning, like we did this morning.

And if anyone would like our expert hunting guide services for next year, just give us a call. Keep in mind that my service starts with a stop at Starbucks. With Rod's you'll be picking grounds out of your teeth with a Arkansas Toothpick for a month. Of course with me, you'll most likely be paying for your purchases for about 12 months.And your husband might want to take up hunting once he finds out.
Just sayin'.
That's all.

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