Thoughts running through my head while lost

These are the actual thoughts I had after getting lost in the woods while walking Lucy and Cooper today. In bulleted form for your reading pleasure.

• Uh-oh. Something tells me I should not have taken this second walk today.
• Why don't the dogs care that we are lost?
• Are they depending on me to find our way home? Because I am depending on them. Oh, shoot.
• This will be so humiliating if I can't find my way home. I wonder how long it will take Rod before he calls for help for me?
• Oh, shoot. Rod would NEVER call for help....He would "cowboy up", putting on his duster and cowboy hat, saddling up Drifter and come search for the dogs. And me.
•  Oh, shoot.
• I better get serious about this and turn off my iPod. Chris Tomlin is not going to get me out of this.
•  Why does it have to start raining so hard right now? It makes it hard to see where the sun is. Is it getting dark already? How long have I been out here??
• I wonder when the dogs will get hungry enough to turn on me and eat me?
• I wonder if I would get hungry enough to turn on them and eat them?
• I'm hungry.
• I should have brought some trail mix. And my Kindle.
• I don't like trail mix. I'd like some cheese fondue with crusty sourdough bread.Mmm-mm.
• Why do the dogs look so happy?? We ARE LOST, dogs. LOST. And hungry. And now I'm thirsty, too.
• I feel like I landed on an episode of "Survivorman." But without a camera crew. Or poisonous snakes that I can skin and eat raw because it is too damp to build a fire.
• Yay! I'm not hungry anymore.
• Glad I showered and fixed my hair this morning. I'm sure it will look great (not) for the rescue teams sent out to find the woman who got lost in her own back yard. Move over, family that got lost in a corn maze. Diane is here.
• I hope Lucy doesn't want to bite the dogs that are sent out to find us.Actually, she is in heat so she probably won't want to bite them.Hmmm. This could be awkward.
• Maybe one of my facebook friends will call 911 when they notice I haven't updated my status for over an hour.
• I wonder if anyone has posted any cute lion/dolphin/toddler/puppy videos since I've been gone.
• Humming " Since you been gone..."
• Wishing I had a cell phone.
• Knowing it wouldn't matter if I had a cell phone, there is no service up here. 
• I'm DOOMED. 

Well, needless to say, we made it home, tired and soaking wet and starving, because we were lost for ALMOST AN HOUR.
 I'd say that gives me real mountain woman cred. For reals.