Thursday, May 1, 2014

Wow, what an incredibly whiny post...

(I wrote this before I titled it. Then I read it. Super whiny)

Did you watch the Trailblazer game last night? Man, when one guys goes up for the shot, and another two go up for the block and they all crash and fall together in a tangle of arms, knees shoulders and other body parts, I  physically cringe. I think I may need to visit the ER just from watching these guys battle it out. If I actually experienced one of those under-the-basket accidents, I would need to be life-flighted from center court at the Moda Center. Stat.
As Rod and I get older, we seem to experience more and more body aches and pains, and what we used to shrug off now makes us snivel and wine for weeks.
Anybody else?
Just this week Rod somehow crinked his neck.(Spell check is telling me that "crinked" is not a real word. I still like it. Carry on.) Now it keeps him up at night because of the discomfort.(which means it keeps me up, too.)
I would help him, but I have my own list of injuries to deal with.
Take the busted up bruised nose I received this morning  from feeding the dogs. Yep, it is dangerous chore, but somebody has to do it. One of the dogs, whose initials start with COOPER, jerked his head up and smacked into my old-lady reading glasses which I was wearing because, HELLO, if I should happen to take them off and set them somewhere I will never remember where I put them.
I speak from experience.
Or, how about my injured elbow? I have no idea why it hurts. I just woke up like that. But it hurt so much, Rod had to help me get dressed this morning before I went running.Yep, I'm a warrior. I went running for a full 1.5 miles even though I had an injured elbow.
 Thankfully, my arms are not completely necessary for that activity.They just help keep me balanced. Imagine how graceful and athletic I must look as I careen around corners with my arms windmilling about to keep me balanced and upright...for the most part.

Side note: my niece Hollie is in Costa Rica right now with her husband and kids. She writes of taking idyllic, injury-free morning runs on the beach before heading back to the condo to play with her family for the rest of the day.I think she is 12. I think I might hate her.

After I run, I usually sit and count what hurts, swallow down half a dozen Advil with a glass of wine and try to remember why I do this to myself. (Okay, I'm obviously exaggerating, but honestly? I'm going to punch Hollie in the throat when she comes back from her holiday.)
This is not me, but it is how I feel after a run. This woman was injured when she was ATTACKED by RACCOONS when she was jogging in the woods. So, potentially, this could be me... 
One recent injury was especially uncomfortable and irritating. Both my hands and wrists were rendered next to useless for a few days. I didn't go to the doctor because I didn't want to explain to Dr. Grise that it was an X-box injury, caused from playing Zuma for too long on the X-box the kids got me for Christmas.
I am not lying.
An X-box injury.
 I should sue.
My grandson came over and wanted me to pick him up and I COULDN'T, people. My hands and wrists were killing me.
Getting old is no bed of roses, friends.
Maybe some of you youngsters could organize a meal train for us. Just a thought.

PS Hollie, I won't really punch you. You are freakishly strong and would hurt me, if I did.
Post a Comment