I need my own personal Annie Sullivan

I received these two sample packets of face cream last week in my November Birch Box. Just looking at the pretty pink color, I knew my face would glow with the freshness of a newborn. So I opened one of the packets and smoothed a dollop of the rich lotion on my face before I went to bed. It smelled like roses and, I'm not gonna lie, my skin felt smooth the next morning.
 Nice.
So, when I remembered, I would slather it on at night. Sometimes in the morning.
Everyday I would tell myself I should put my glasses on and get out the microscope so I could read the itty-bitty direction on the back of the packets. What if it said to apply only at night or to use under make-up?  How was I to know?
After four-five days of using it, I finally was able to remember to read the back. Here is what its said, "Soin emollient luminescent cheveux colores abimes..." Still difficult to understand. I think they put it in French because people believe it is of higher quality, and more luxuriant a product if the directions for use are first written in French. Oo la la!

Ah...here is it in English. Let's see..." Luminous, softening treatment masque (notice, not just a "mask.")  for high lighted or sensitized, colour-treated hair."

Mon Dieu! Sacre Bleu!
 I have been rubbing hair conditioner into my face day and night!

Note: If you come to our house to eat a meal, my feelings will not be hurt if you should check the expiration dates on anything I may try to feed you. I have not been able to decipher those tiny little number since 1998 or so.