I ain't missin' you at all...

And I am big fat liar.

Because I miss T.V.

I think today is especially difficult because it is American Idol night.

Ryan will be there with his big, sparkly teeth and sharp witticisms.

Randy will be there with his deep, chuckly laugh and his "A'ight, dawg."

Simon will be there with his youth size 12 t-shirt and his smarmy winks.

Kara will be there with her....well, Kara will be there.

Ellen will be there, and that is just sad because I never really got to know American Idol-Ellen. But I'm sure I would have enjoyed her.

.

I have tried to focus on the good that is being accomplished because of giving T.V. up. But visions of tribal councils on scary,exotic islands and Tyra Banks saying, "Seven beautiful girls stand in before me..." keep interfering.

Yes, I have watched The Housewives of Orange County, okay? I am not proud of myself, but I am not going to be all fake-holy and say I don't know who Vickie is. I do. I'm feeling a little bit nauseous about it, but I do wonder how her real estate business is holding up in this recession time.

So there you have it. I am trying to do the right thing, but I miss the wrong thing.

I wish I could say that since T.V. has been off my house is spotless, I am eating better and exercising more, have lost 25 lbs and never looked better. (well, okay, I'm not gonna lie. Rod says I'm still lookin' fine.)

But Jesus is not more visible than before. My life is not filled up with feeding the poor, visiting those in prison and clothing the nekkid. I have no bible verses ready to hurl at this super-shallow, meaningless situation.

Nope. I just miss my imaginary friends.

And watching T.V. in bed with Rod when I am super tired. I really miss that AI theme music.

Ohh-ohh ohhh oh oh. I'll just hum it quietly to myself today.

As the tears fall.(tears are not really falling. I said that just for effect.)