Saturday, December 3, 2011

Dear Puppies,

Dear Puppies,
This morning when I came out into the kitchen to begin making your 1st breakfast and saw you in the hallway again, I was not amused. The partition is there to keep you in, not simply slow you down and build your climbing skills. Please stop breaking out.

Ebony, our only puppy still available. I call her Ebbie. Too bad she's not cute or anything.
Something you might not be aware of is that if you poop enough on anything, it will eventually smell poopy, even though I wash and wash and wash it. Right now, you might notice that your bedding blankets smell April Fresh with a subtle poopy aroma. This is not considered a good thing in polite company. Something to think about.

When you look up at me with your soft puppy eyes, I AM going to scoop you up and kiss  and snuggle you. This cannot be helped. I am  like Pavlov's dog.
In reverse.
Kind of.

Please. Stop the  excessive whining, howling and barking when you smell bacon frying. You are not going to get any. No matter what. That is all.

Please stop scratching us with your little demon claws. You are like Ninja Cats the way you claw anything within paw's reach. You have made me bleed enough. Thank you.

Consider using your table manners while dining. I understand that your Puppy Mash is served family style, and that you are very competitive with your siblings. But there is no call to climb in the food dish and wallow around like you do. Didn't your Mama teach you any manners? Never mind. I know her. She didn't.

Back to the poo.
Could you just ease up a bit? Back off or at least slow down? A suggestion; maybe use the absorbent puppy pads I've thoughtfully provided for you. And then maybe don't walk or play in it. Again, just a suggestion.

Finally, I would like to submit to you all that you are the best, most cuddly and sweet puppies ever. You make me melt in a puddle.
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