That is how I figure I'll be getting through the next few months as Josiah left for Afghanistan today. I know his life is, and always has been in God's hands. (Can you hear the "but" coming?) But the thing is, I don't know what God has planned. And that is particularly hard, I think, when your son is going into combat zones where people seriously want to harm him. That is the hardest thing to wrap my mind around. Maybe I'm naive or just stupid, but I can't think of why someone would want to hurt my boy. The picture at the top is how Josiah would like us, his parents, to think of him. The pictures below are how I actually see him, so sending him into war, into harm's way literally hurts my heart. I remember kissing his baby feet and bouncing him after his bath while we dried him off. I remember how his Dad made him laugh first. Priceless, really. I remember how he always tried so hard to take car of his baby sister, usually to the point of almost hurting her. Moms remember all those chubby baby moments and superimpose them on their their soldier sons. Even though I know intellectually he is grown up, trained and ready to go, I still see my precious boy, and man, does that hurt.
Lord God I pray for you to protect Josiah and bring him home to us. I know you see him with perfect vision, both the man and the boy.Help me to see things from your perspective, because sometimes I get too wrapped up in mine. But remember how adorable he was when he would hide his eyes and think we couldn't see him? And remember when he fed Amy that lemon pie on Easter morning, before Rod and I got up? I know you remember those times, and I'm so thankful that you love Siah even more than us.Let him see his need for you every day,and be ready with an answer for the guys around him. Please, Lord, keep him safe. He was always skilled and multi talented, as you can see.You can probably tell, just from these pictures, that he would grow up to put out fires and save peoples' lives. I know we could. Also, cute as a bug's ear, wasn't he?
"My trust is not that I am holy, but that, being unholy, Christ died for me. My rest is here, not in what I am or shall be or feel or know, but in what Christ is and must be,--in what Christ did and is still doing as He stands before yonder throne of glory." Charles Spurgeon