Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Chocolate covered...

Spiders.


I didn't want to write yet another post about insects (yes I KNOW spiders are not technically insects. But I don't care enough to google and find out what they actually are.)



But I figured if I wrote "Chocolate" in the title you might click on the post and read it.


I'd kind of lure you into my web, so to speak.
Yes, I went there.


Plus, chocolate covered spiders MIGHT be good.

If you deep-fried them first.

And then dip them in ranch.

Let's be honest. ANYTHING would be good if you deep-fried it, coated it in chocolate and then dunked it in Ranch. Any one of those options would be fine. Together they are the elusive Trifecta of snacking.


Who want to volunteer to try that concoction?


I might be tempted, but this year's spiders are Jurassic Park spiders. So you would have to take a few bites, And chew a little bit. Like Big Mac Spiders.



I am scared to go to the mail box, or get the dogs out of the kennel, because the SPIDERS...they are SO FREAKING LARGE.


For all I know, the dogs may have been carried off by spiders by now.





The spiders are keeping me from living a normal life.





For example, this one is keeping me from Windexing the sliding glass door. (why yes, I made it a verb.Thank you for asking.)





This one is keeping me from walking between the dog's kennel and the pump house. I have probably walked there a grand total of 1000 7 times in the last 12 years, but that is not the point. Now I know I can't walk there. Disturbing, no?





This Queen Mother of all that is disgusting is keeping me from eating sleeping soundly.
(Or maybe that was the Macho Nachos I consumed like a tsuami while watching the Packer's break their record last night at Geno's. Not sure.)
I tell you I just can't sleep knowing this eight-legged creature from SpiderWorld is living RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.



So,basically,the way I see it is that spiders are keeping me from cleaning my house and watching "Glee" tonight.
Ba ha ha ha!!
As though a spider, even if it is large enough to saddle and ride the trails with could ever stop me from watching "Glee."
But they are stopping me from cleaning my house.
Nevermind.
Unless the spider is named Laziness, it is really not responsible for the dusty conditions around here.

I need to stop talking about spiders because I am getting that creepy-crawly feeling like a large spider is on my shoulder or Rod Stewart is singing "Tonight's the Night."
How is the spider situation where you live?



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