You may have heard we have some new roomies.
Or cellies, as we sometimes call them.
Our son Josiah, his wife, Ashley, and their son, Max, AKA, Mister, Monkey, THE JOY OF OUR EXISTENCE AND OUR REASON FOR LIVING or Baby.
Anyway, here are a few random things that have been heard around here during the two weeks since they have moved in.
"We get to make dinner tomorrow night, okay?" (this is good for two reasons: Siah likes to cook and we like to eat. Classic win-win.)
"Please don't mop before I have a chance to do it when I am off of work. We live here now, too, you know." (Okay, Ashley. I'll try to hold off.)
"Aaaauuuuuugggghhhhh!!!" This was so high pitched and piercing that I think paint may have peeled off the neighbor's house and was emitted by Rod this morning in bed when Max placed his chubby fingers on Rod's bare nipple, dug in with his abnormally strong fingers, pinched and then pulled straight back. I think Rod may have lost conscienceness before Max lost his grip.
"Why does this room smell so magically delicious and not like wet dirty dog like the rest of the house?" (Ashley sells, and thus owns an outlandish product which simultaneously looks beautiful, heats up some yummy smelling wax and has a sparkly little night light effect going on. I don't even need to buy any and I reap the benefits from my roomie.
"Why are there TWO computers on the desk in the office?" That is so I can
change my FB status and watch last night's episode of "The Office", Duh!) work twice as efficiently a before. Duh!
"Wait a second. You just made a call and doubled our Internet speed and it didn't cost us a dime? Are you the man of steel?
"Wow. I had totally forgotten how much fun it is to fall asleep to movies in my room at night. Thanks for the extra T.V., best roomies ever."
Me, grumbling, "Where are all my potholders? Did I leave them out in the camper?" Ashley: "Oh, I'll crochet you one! Look, I'll start now!"
And she did.
"What the heck? Did you clean out the dishwasher? And then you LOADED IT,TOO? But, you're a dude....and I raised you...and...and...oh...(sound of muffled crying as I hugged and kissed my boy.) Sure, all he did was cleaned out the dishwasher and loaded it, and I should probably expect that from roommates.
But I hadn't prepared myself for ADULT Josiah moving in, you see. Being all responsible and stuff. Being a firefighter in a war zone, getting married, having a baby son, sure, I can deal.
But cleaning out the dishwasher and loading it back up with the dishes from the sink. I simply was not prepared.
You want to sweep a woman clean off her feet? Unload her dishwasher and load it back up.
Am I right, or am I right, ladies?
I'm sure I'll have a different list when they have over stayed their welcome. I can't even imagine that now, especially with all the benefits they bring.
Hello, Max! Hi there, faster Internet!
Perhaps in in late September 2012 or next Saturday at 8:11 PM.
I know, I know.
It's all fun and games for now, until someone doesn't want to clean their bathroom, or put away the milk carton that they just swigged from or rub Mama's feet with warm lotion for an hour or two.
But all is not lost.
I figure if the right person reads this, I'll still be able to rent them out for a pretty penny.