Thursday, May 29, 2008

I would have posted but....

a) I've been so down since American Idol ended that I jumped in an old VW van and hit the road so I could follow the Two Davids around for their press junkets, photo ops and mini-concerts. Oh, and I still don't have a laptop so I can't get online.

b) I have a mysterious and communicable disease which confines me to staying under a plastic bubble (a tarp, really) watching my "stories" on the flat screen and eating Jelly-Belly candy like there's no tomorrow. But not the popcorn flavored ones because those are as gross as Peanut-Butter Cap'n Crunch. Sorry, Cap'n.

This disease gives me bad hair days EVERY DAY and adult onset acne which is really something to boast about.

**FYI: It is not my poor food choices that are contributing to my symptoms, so don't even go there. In fact, if you are going to gently suggest that, please leave my blog immediately. Thank you.

c.) Everything is going great and I have nothing to write about. Except that my dogs have worms. And that doesn't seem like polite conversation. Especially the part where Chopper holds himself up solely on his front legs like a canine gymnast and swings his back legs forward so he can scratch the itch on his doggy nether regions. On the new carpet. Which I am dousing with gasoline a cheaper flammable liquid of some sort and flicking a match and just walking away.

Because, ewww, Chopper. Really, just ewww.

A snippet of each of those choices is true. You'll have to decide which snippets.And I'm out of Jelly Bellys. Please send some ASAP.

Appreciate it.
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