Tuesday, August 12, 2008

My pound of flesh

To help reduce my calorie intake and my general fluffiness, I am avoiding certain carbs, like breads and pasta and the like.

I am eating old fashioned oatmeal or dry cereal for breakfast, and lots of low fat protein, fruits and veggies. I chew on my fingernails or a good book when I get too hungry between meals.

So, last night, I made fish for dinner (in a yummy ginger-garlic marinade, I might add) a salad and for Rod there were a couple giant,whole-wheat rolls.

I first heard the rolls calling my name softly while I was whisking the sauce. I ignored them.
They began to call loudly, until they were competing with the growling in my empty, empty belly.

Before I could slice off my hand with my Ginsu, I had a partial roll in my mouth and down my throat.
Oh, the bliss! The joy! The carbs were dancing their way into my digestive system and everything was celebrating with the bread.

Guilt set in almost instantaneously.

After dinner, I set out to rectify my great wrong by wogging a few miles. Actually, I had to walk fast, as my dinner hadn't completely digested and and my knees kinda hurt,too.

Then this morning, still wrestling with the guilt of having eaten bread, I got up and wogged a few more miles, determined to put my carb eating episode behind me.

I came home. I walked over and hopped on the scale.

I had gained a pound.

Oh, bread I curse you.
Rolls, you are the devil.

(** note, please do not take anything I write here seriously. Bread is good, especially 100% whole wheat. But yes, I did gain a stinkin' pound.)

If you need me, I'll be standing on the scale until that pound comes off.

10 comments:

E said...

I love how witty you are. You know I absolutely DESPISE how much I love food, and also how I will ALWAYS struggle with my weight.

I was doing so well BEFORE summer, and now I have gained backa good amount of weight. I'll be back on the scale on Saturday morning. I am dreading it.

So, sister, have no fear...I would have gained a pound or two after eating a roll, too!

Mindy said...

I am a total bread lover, but I started the South Beach diet and the first two weeks are super-strict no carb weeks. I felt so good giving them up. I really, really, really wanted them. It wasn't easy. But when I didn't have them, I noticed that I didn't feel constantly sleepy. I had way more energy and I actually started viewing food as fuel instead of pleasure. I was shocked at how carbs really does affect me.

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Hi! I have something for you over at my place...come see! :-)
chel

PJ said...

How funny!!! "I chew on my fingernails or a good book!!" ROTFL

I came of from Linda at 2nd cup...to check out "wogging"! I was not disappointed. You now go on my Google Reader (which I haven't opened in 2 days, I might add!) So don't get too ecstatic over it.

Diane said...

I gain weight by simpling SMELLING bread...it's my weakness.

Hilarious post, btw.

Diane

Anonymous said...

Those rolls look really good and very tempting. They're making me hungry.

Love your new kitchen counter tops and your large kitchen!

Edie said...

I bet when you leaned in to get that picture of the rolls that one of them jumped off the plate and tried to strangle you by forcing itself down your throat. :)

Don't you just hate how fast and easy it is to gain a pound but it never seems to work that way in reverse. Keep at it, you'll get there.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Do NOT weight yourself all the time. Once a week is good. My own fluctutates two pounds every single day. The rolls did not make you gain a pound, and your body can process everything you put into it for your benefit, even road kill, which I just prepared in a delicious ginger sauce. Don't you hate it when you have a slow/hurtful/impossible wogging episode? That's discouraging,too. So you hit a little bump in the road. Today will be different.

Beverlydru said...

I popped over here from 2nd cup of coffee. It's the wogging we do and lots of other common threads that will bring me back for sure. Nice to meet you.

Nancy said...

I love bread and make it all the time! I try to eat just one roll or slice a day, though. If I fail and eat 2, then the next day I just plug proteins all day to help offset it. We are all weak....don't punish yourself so hard. You're doing great and eating good foods. We all slip every now and then!

Loved this post! You made me laugh!

(((((( HUGS ))))))