Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Just smile and nod

I can't seem to wake up this morning and I ncioheniugu....

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Can we please start over?

That was my tribute to Brooke for last night's AI first: a start-over. Or it was evidence that reality television is eating away at my brain cells. Whatever.

Actually, I am really tired this morning and can't seem to wake up. I showered and blew-dry my winter-crackly hair. Then I put my pajamas back on. Me and God had our time together, but I was wearing jammies. I don't think He cares too much. Maybe I should wear these to church sometime...? Really, they shouldn't call pajamas "lounge wear." It just encourages tired people to lounge around and be lazy. Like me.

There is just no reason to get up and get moving today.(Well, there is. But I'm ignoring that as best as I can.Which is easier to do while wearing lounge wear) I am just so very sore. I began my walking routine again and yesterday I upped the ante to 3.5 miles, which used to be my short walk. (yeah, I KNOW!) But I haven't walked that distance for 7 months or so and I FEEL it. My back hurts from swinging my arms too energetically. How sad and pathetic is that? I am like a stiff, little 95 year old arthritic Grandma smelling of Ben Gay.

As I was walking, I was pondering what bad parents Rod and I am.

I'll clarify. We're bad parents of adult children.

Case in point: Our son, Josiah is buying a house with a partner as an investment. This is the same son that served as a firefighter in Afghanistan with the Air Force.

So, you'd think as his parents, we'd be proud and pleased, or at least seemingly nonchalant.

But you'd be wrong. We eat a meal together discussing the interest rate. We lie in bed at night worried about the soundness of buying a house which is in foreclosure.

The other day, we knew Josiah was having an appraisal and an inspection done and we happened to be in town. We called and said we'd like to drive by and see the potential new house. Josiah gave us directions and wow, we were like right around the corner. It's not like we're stalking him or anything.

He met us in front of the house. As the car window slid down, I could feel our words bubbling up. We couldn't stop them, even if we'd wanted to. And then they exploded.

"Are you paying for this inspection? Who is doing the appraisal? Make sure they check in the crawl space. Have they negotiated who is paying closing costs? Are they leaving the appliances?" (that last one was me. Rod doesn't care.)

We sounded like little barky terrier dogs, yapping out the window at him. He responded to as many of our questions/comments as was humanly possible, then politely asked us to leave, as he had quite a few people in the house and needed to get back inside.

We were startled into silence. The window rolled back up and we slunk away with our eyes averted.

How humiliating was that?

Josiah was bound to think that we didn't think he was capable of making these kinds of decisions without his parents screeching at him like howler monkeys.

So I called him later to apologize (that is two times in three weeks for those of you keeping score) for nagging and nit-picking at him. I told him again that we are trying to learn how to be parents of adult children, but it has been tough going. He answered, "No problem. I always call and ask for your opinions."
For so many years we told the kids what time to go to bed, not to go past the stop sign, and how many Pop-Tarts he could have. (None. Those are mine. Now go to bed.)

Ahhh, those were the good old days.

Now they decide things ON THEIR OWN. Scary stuff, believe me. (What?! You're eating THAT for dinner?!)

It is hard to let go, people. I'm telling you. Hard. To. Let. Go.

But we have raised Josiah and Amy up in the way they should go and pray for them both daily. We need to let go of all these little things and trust that God, who loves them more than we do, is directing their paths.
Also, we need to embrace the wisdom of "The Smile and Nod" technique. Neither one of us is good at this yet,but we are practicing.
Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Keeping our mouths shut.

Oh, FYI, Josiah is traveling out of state today to meet his girlfriend's parents.I know, that sentence should be in bold, or italicized or something. But this is my new strategy of letting things go that are not in my control .

I'd better go. Rod just asked me what I was blogging about. I told him.
He listened carefully and without missing a beat, he said,
"Did you see Josiah last night? I hope he shaves before he meets Ashley's parents."
This is a quote, from the Dad that is learning to let go. Hmmmm.
Parenting. It doesn't get any easier.
Just smile and nod.

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